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Podcast: Matthew Parris's audio sketch

In the first of an exclusive series of conference podcasts Matthew Parris talks to Charles Kennedy and Brian Paddick, gossips about Lady Campbell's handbagging and keeps the pink flag flying high

5 reasons for Ming to worry after conference

So Ming's speech got glowing write ups and the ICM/Guardian poll put them on 20 per cent, meaning activists returned home happy and MPs can breath a sigh of relief. But if the Liberal Democrats are thinking they can congratulate themselves for "getting away with it" in Brighton this week, they are mistaken.

Here are 5 reasons why

1. Last year Ming's age was a big issue at party conference, as it was this year. Next year - if there hasn't been a general election or a coup - it will still dog Ming, who will then be 67. Aides would be wrong to think he had "solved" the issue simply by talking about it.

2. Ming suggestively called David Cameron a "substance free zone" in last year's speech. This year he stuck more to the politics and delivered a sharper critique on Brown and Labour, suggesting a move to the centre. But Ming insists he is on the centre-left of British politics, and there was little in his speech that would attract disaffected Tory voters. Is this electorally sensible?

3. The party's message on tax, the most radioactive of issues, is confusing and Ming is largely to blame. Their policies would mean tax cuts for 90 per cent but on Sunday when Ming, apparently in error, agreed with the statement that his tax policies would "hammer" the rich without spelling out what it means. The public are confused and used to assuming the worse with the Lib Dems. The party must agree a line and stick to it.

4. It is hard for the third party to make the political weather, but the Liberal Democrats can and should try harder. They used to have a reputation for holding government to account effectively, by combing through government documents and Parliamentary Answers. Inexcusably, this has stopped in some key policy areas. Putting pressure on the government will generate easy positive headlines.

5. Above all, ditch the self pity. It was hard to escape the everybody-hates-us feeling in some corners of Brighton. Ming set the tone by blaming the media in his closing speech, as do so many others. What happened to the bold response and tough skin? Get over it and grow up. The party must get out of the comfort zone in order to make more of a impact.

The big moment

Well he did it, and did it well. Ming's speech - and for veterans of this party conference it has been long time coming - was worth waiting for. It went down well in the hall, not least because of the jokes, just one of the several key contributions of Sir Menzies young but clearly talented speechwriter Euan Roddin.

They included:

On John Redwood's tax commission: "Would you believe it?Advice from the Vulcan First Officer. Ideas straight from the bridge of the Starship Free Enterprise. Policies, Dave – but not as we know them."

On Boris Johnson: "The blondest suicide note in history"

It was a step change from last year, and some of the passeges were particularly fluent. They pleased the crowd, were delivered well, and lifted the mood in the hall. Delegates will go home happy

Politically it was also interesting, amounting to a rebalancing from last year where the centrepiece was a highly personal attack on David Cameron. This year there was no personal attacks, and the critique of Labour was much sharper. It amounted to a subtle shift further from Labour - providing some comfort to those who think he is too nice about Gordon Brown - and away from demonising the Tories to please left leaning activists.

One footnote: In the dysfunctional way that only the Liberal Democrats can, while every other Liberal Democrat in Brighton was in the hall listening to Ming's speech, the press office was sending out a flurry of releases on subjects as diverse as the flooding and counter terrorism policy. Four arrived in 11 minutes in my inbox. Utterly bizarre

The woman behind the handbag

Hell hath no fury like a leaders' wife scorned, as Elspeth, Sir Menzies Campbell's wife reminded Nick Clegg yesterday. Like Cherie, she is a serious force behind the leader and in a Times interview last year, he described her as his closest friend in politics.

The smoking ban has meant she has been prominent this year's party conference, standing on the pavement outside the Grand hotel having a cigarette.

As Clegg found to his cost yesterday, she is not afraid to challenge aggressively promote and protect her husband: for instance Elspeth often complains that her husband is a nightmare on holiday. No sooner do they arrive at their destination than he is already fidgeting to get back to work

But she has her slight weaknesses, and her love of the establishment is one of them. One story is that she used every chance encounter with Tony Blair to try to engineer a weekend at Chequers

A strange BBC press release

The BBC have just issued a somewhat odd press release reporting off camera remarks made by Sarah Teather, the higher education spokeswoman, after conducting an interview with Andrew Neil on the Daily Politics. The BBC operative, who distributed press releases round to print journalists, said it was being issued "on Andrew Neil's instruction". Maybe it's just me, but I think there's something uncomfortable about this. You decide...

LIB DEM CHAOS OVER COSY CONSENSUS

Leader’s office and frontbencher at odds over their tuition fees policy

Wednesday, September 19

In an interview with the Daily Politics, the Party’s Higher Education Spokeswoman, Sarah Teather, told Andrew Neil: Sarah Teather: “At the moment we are abolishing tuition fees but we are looking to review the policy and it will be slightly different at the next general election. I can’t say what it will be because we have a commission. We haven’t decided on the policy yet.”

Her comments are at odds with the Leader’s speech briefing paper handed to journalists this afternoon, the Liberal Democrats said their policy was to ‘scrap tuition fees’. It was used in the briefing as an example of how the Liberal Democrats are a radical alternative to the ‘Cosy Consensus’

After the interview, the BBC Daily Politics Presenter, Andrew Neil, showed her the briefing document and that’s when she said: “I’m just the Higher Education spokeswoman, no-one ever tells me anything”.

She was then seen by Andrew Neil, to head straight for Ed Davey, Ming Campbell’s Chief of Staff and was seen by Andrew Neil remonstrating with them.

Leadership ping pong

And lo, Chris Huhne plays Nick Clegg's "probably" with a very straight bat.

In a press briefing, he said: "There is no vacancy and this is premature to even talk about the possibility of there being a vacancy."I am not a sort of Michael Heseltine figure who plans the road map to Downing Street from the day they come out of nappies. I wait for opportunities and then decide at the time. I am very happy with what I am doing. I am very pleased Ming asked me to do the environment brief which I think is the key challenge facing the country."

A slap-down to his putative leadership rival? You decide.

It must be said that Mr Clegg's colleagues have not been terribly sympathetic. One suggested that the remark showed he hadn't spent very long in Parliament where you have to watch careless remarks. Another was obviously unimpressed, said he should have used a different formula of words to respond. Ed Davey, the party chair, said that there was no vacancy "and if you look at the exact quote you will see he is saying exactly what I have just said."

Why did Clegg do this?

As the 8am Radio 4 headlines have just revealed, the rules of the game here in Brighton have changed overnight. Nick Clegg, the party's home affairs spokesman, has gone further than before at a fringe meeting and said he would "probably" stand for the leadership after Ming goes.

According to Laura Kuenssberg in this post on the BBC website, when asked at a fringe meeting to state his future intentions, Mr Clegg said "if you are asking me would I stand against Ming, the answer is no". When pushed on the issue, he responded that "if there was a vacancy in the future then I probably would".

On one level this is no surprise - MPs talk frequently in private that they expect him to stand - but the normally cautious Clegg has avoided spelling such a move out so explicitly in public (and, to my knowledge, in private) before.

So the rhetorical arms race (probably) begins. Everyone will be hunting down Chris Huhne and after that just about ever other Lib Dem frontbenchers to see whether they too want to escalate.

But was this wise? This statement - virtually declaring his candidacy - will follow him round until the day Ming goes. It is hard to see how this intervention, from one of Sir Menzies most loyal lieutenants, is helpful because it gets the leadership back in the headlines. It could consequently irritate MPs who do not want to talk about this and resent another round of leadership headlines. Huhne could decide not to follow suit, and consequntly gain some advantage.

Twofer with Matthew Parris from the Liberal Democrat Conference

Daniel Finkelstein - Times comment editor and one time member of the SDP - talks to Matthew Parris - Times political columnist and former Tory MP - about the Liberal Democrat conference in a twofer.

Ghost of leaders' past

Around 4pm, there was an spontaneous stampede out of  the press room and through the Brighton Centre. "Charles Kennedy is asleep" cried one of my colleagues breathlessly as he burst into the conference hall

No such luck. Kennedy was there, in the front, as sprightly as ever, preparing to speak in the poverty debate. It transpires that the hacks had fallen foul of Chinese whispers - one of the journalists had misheard "Charles Kennedy's about to speak."

But it was not a wasted journey. Kennedy - clearly on form - issued a robust rallying cry for party activists to hit back at critics, be bold and avoid looking too defensive. It was exactly the sort of speech Ming - who yesterday admitted he was "scared stiff" before speeches - would loved to have made himself.

"At the last election we held our heads up high," Kennedy declared, his speech interrupted by regular sustained bursts of applause (in contrast to the speaker who followed).

Friends of Ming like to point out that Kennedy will be welcomed back to front bench "when he decides he is ready" and suggest, leadingly, that his absence speaks for itself. But, as today proved, Charles is not without his uses for the party, although perhaps he reminds Ming a little too much of what he is not.

Ming the Meaningless

Sir Menzies Campbell's pitch to the electorate is that age is an advantage and  experience makes him a distinctive alternative, particuarly to David Cameron. Problem is, according to a new Channel 4 vox pop, nobody recognises him.

They asked voters to identify the Liberal Democrat leader from photographs of Alec Douglas-Home, the former prime minister, Victor Meldrew, the comedian and John Reid, the former home secretary. An overwhelming majority went for John Reid, with Sir Ming trailing in second place. No-one, thankfully, confused him for the other two.

Deeply unscientific. But the idea of John Reid - something of a sceptic on those very human rights issues dear to the Lid Dems' hearts - leading the party is too entertaining a prospect to go unnoted.