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Tie analysis

... from Carola Long, of our fashion desk:

"By choosing yet another pink tie, Gordon may be trying to say that he’s approachable, that he’s in touch with his feminine side, but unsurprisingly, this softer look doesn’t exactly suit him. According to colour consultants Colour Me Beautiful, this shade of blush pink suits men with light to medium blonde hair and the cutaway collar has unfortunate effect of shortening and widening the neck ( Gordon’s wasn’t all that swan-like to start with). The small knot and slim-ish tie might be an attempt to move towards the hipper skinny tie, as worn by indie bands and Pete Doherty. Expect to see Gordon rocking out in skinny jeans and a pork pie hat next. At least they won’t clash with the suitcase."

"Just one more thing..."

"I'm, eh, raising the top rate tax-threshold."

One more thing

Tom Whitwell, our Communites Editor, has just reminded me that Steve Jobs, of Apple, always makes big announcements at the end of his speeches with the one more thing strategy. Like Gordon, with his tax cuts.

(Sorry. That's very nearly not trivial, isn't it?)

Bingo latest

12:37: A second "sustained growth"! Can't believe I forgot about "boom and bust".

12:39: Suddenly, a "billions" Suddenly can't move for them.

12:40: And a "fiscal"

12:41: Is anybody else quite lost? Look at Tony's face. He's pretending to concentrate. The odd approving nod. Prezza looks sedated. None of them have a clue what he is on about, do they?

12:44: It's like he has a bet with somebody, to say "front line services" as many times as he can. He knows we don't have it on the list. He's rubbing it in.

12:47: I think we just "had a submission from" and "stablity of the last ten years" is the same as "decade of stability" in my book. This is going terribly well.

12:55: Five minutes of enviromentalism, and not a sniff if the word "green". But treat yourself to a "carbon offsetting". We had "carbon trading" and "carbon capture" which are much the same thing.

12:57: A green! A green!

13:02: "I have had representations from" is as good as "had a submission from".

13:01: Iain Dale has just emailed me to say he thinks that Prescott is spending an awful lot of time looking at Gordon's bottom. Thanks Iain.

13:03: This business of freezing duty on spirits. He thinks it's a joke, doesn't he? It's a joke about Scottish people liking whisky. He thinks it actually funny. How depressing.

13:07: Another "had a represenation from". Same rules.

13:09: Ruth Kelly is in a trance.

13:11: See how his voice goes all soft when he is talking about children. I bet Gordon watched budgets, as a child. He probably thinks that there are children across Britain sitting in front of their televisions and going "ooh, nice to see he has responded to the representations he has had from us to enhance child benefit in a fiscally prudent and incentivisingly stable way" and he doesn't want to scare them.

13:14: Amazing. Throughout the whole education section, he didn't use the word "education".

13:17: Ah, there we go. "Education a right for every young person" will do as an "Education for all".

13:19: Well, he hasn't beaten Disraeli. 48:18. Close.

13:20: Might go and get some lunch now. David Cameron really isn't my problem. Although a colleague has just emailed me to point out how much his hands are shaking. Maybe he needs a low tax whisky.

Things to look out for during Gordon’s speech

Gordon’s fingernails

He bites them. Especially when he is highly-strung. Keep an eye on the hands during any gesticulation.

The books on the dispatch box

Gordon’s eyes aren’t great, but he doesn’t want to be seen peering, Jack Straw-ishly. So, he piles books on the dispatch box, under his speech. Usually, there are three of them – big thick green-bound volumes of Hansard.

Gordon’s thumb

Habitually, Gordon is either handsfree, or a pointer and a stabber. Very old fashioned, very combative. Blair and Cameron, on the other hand, are thumb men. Making a point with a thumb is inclusive, non-threatening. Will Gordon try it?

The drink

The chancellor is the only person permitted to drink alcohol in the Commons. Ken Clarke drank whisky. Gladstone, an avowed weirdo, drank a mix of sherry and beaten egg. Gordon tends to drink water. Any chance of something more interesting this time?

Ready for bingo?

Download it here.

Print out your form, cross off the words as Gordon says them, and say "bingo" by taking a picture of yourself holding your form and emailing it to to onlinepics@thetimes.co.uk or texting it to 07834 885058. Prizes, prizes...

EDIT: We have a "sustained growth"! And so soon. Tick it off.

He's there now

sitting in between Blair and John Reid. He's not looking terribly happy. But then, he is Gordon Brown. He never does.

Size matters

My colleague Gabriel Rozenberg tells me of a rumour buzzing around in business circles that Gordon is going to try to set the record of making the shortest budget statement ever. To do this, he has to finish within 45 minutes. Apparently Disraeli set this record in 1867. Interesting. In a way.

He's on the doorstop now

At Number 11. Waving his box about. Oh. And now he's off into his car. Sky are following it with a helicopter. Seems a bit excessive.

EDIT: Ridiculous. A whole commercial break later, and he is only just arriving. Really should have walked. Maybe he didn't want to mess up his budget haircut.

Gordons. Fousands of them.

These are Tories, protesting about stealth taxes. It's like a cross between Zulu and Being John Malkovich.

Spotted

We have a sighting. He left Number 11 a few minutes ago, with his wife Sarah. Presumably she'll sneak back in around the back once the photo-op is done.

He's wearing a very interesting tie. Red, but sort of embossed. Most surprising. I was led to believe it would be a pastel pink.

EDIT: I've emailed our fashion team, to find out more about this tie. Especially the knot. Look at it. Weird as.

Gordon's morning

No sign of Gordon yet, although it seems a safe bet that he'll have been up since 6 at the latest. My colleague Ann Treneman tells me that he had his "budget haircut" a few days ago, which seems wise, as I sense Gordon is the kind of chap who takes a few days to settle down after a haircut. Kramer-ish. You know.

According to the Treasury, he's spending this morning recording a budget broadcast that will be aired tonight, so we'll have to watch that, then, to look for signs of pre-Budget nerves.

Blogging the Budget

Hello and welcome. So, this is the place to come for all your Budget tittle-tattle, provided you aren't into maths or post neo-classical endogenous growth theory. Throughout budget day, I'll have one eye on Gordon Brown, and one eye on everybody else who has an eye on Gordon Brown. The circus. The clothes. The shoes. The gurning. Basically, everything that Gordon probably really hates about politics, I will be delving into here. Okay?

I'm particularly excited about our Budget Buzzword Bingo. But, thanks to this Stalinist business, it looks like it is going to be fun all the way. So, to get us started, here's a picture:

(with thanks to The Spine and Petra Wilkinson)

Brown's Buzzword Bingo

The rules:
1) Click on the button to generate a page of printable Brown Buzzword Bingo cards.

If the button doesn't work for you, download your cards here.

2) When Gordon says a buzzword, mark your card. You can also mark your FREE space.
3) Four marks in a line - horizontal, vertical or diagonal, wins: Shout "Post neo-classical endogenous growth theory".
4) Then take a picture of yourself holding your card. Email it to onlinepics@thetimes.co.uk or text it to 07834 885058.
5) The best picture wins a bottle of bubbly!

(Build your own custom buzzword bingo cards at Saksena.net)