Oscars: Live Coverage from LA

9.05pm. Coen brothers clean up.

No Country For Old Men wins both Best Picture and Best Director for the Coen brothers. It's been a huge night for the movie, which also took Best Adapted Screenplay and Best Supporting Actor. "This is an unbelievable honour and a complete surprise," says Scott Rudin, the film's producer. After taking the gong for Best Director, Joel Coen said: 'Ethan and I have been making stories with movie cameras since we were kids. What we do now doesn't feel that much different. We're really thrilled to have received it, and we've very thankful to all of you out there for letting us play in our corner of the sandbox."

So that concludes the Oscars coverage for this evening. The Academy should be pleased with itself: given the lack of writers during the preparation, the ceremony didn't drag as much as I expected it to, and Stewart turned out to be the perfect host in this election year. Of course, it also didn't harm that there were some truly excellent films up for the awards this year...

8.35pm. There Will Be An Oscar

Daniel Day-Lewis takes the Best Actor for his role as the misanthropic oilman Daniel Plainview in There Will Be Blood. This is win #6 for Britain (by my dubious mathematics). The method actor - his co-stars apparently have to call him by his character's name on set - makes a crytpic speech, thanking the Academy for "whacking me with the handsomest bludgeon in town" and saying that "it seems to me that this sprang like a golden sapling out of the mad, beautiful head of [the Blood director] Paul Thomas Anderson". Handsomest bludgeon? Golden sapling? The man is a lunatic, but a fine actor nevertheless. Day-Lewis concluded: "I've been thinking a lot about father and sons in the course of this, and I'd like to accept this in the memory of my grandfather, Michael Balcon, and my father, Cecil Day-Lewis, and my three fine boys."

8.30pm. Ex-stripper wins Oscar

A fully deserved Best Original Screenplay Oscar for the ex-stripper Diablo Cody, who wrote Juno. She deserves the gong simply for having the name 'Diablo', in my opinion. She cuts a slightly odd figure for a writer, what with her leopard-print dress, bright red lipstick, jet black hair, and upper arm tattoo. "What's happening?" she asks, as she takes the stage. "This is for the writers. I want to thank our incredible cast including the superhuman Ellen Page. And I want to thank my family for loving me exactly the way I am."

By this, I presume she means naked and swinging from a pole.

8.20pm. The Oscars get political

Michael Moore loses out on the Oscar for his US healthcare documentary Sicko. Instead the Best Documentary Feature award goes to Alex Gibney and Eva Orner for Taxi to the Dark Side, which chronicles the death in US custody of an Afghan taxi driver called Dilawar. "Let's hope we can turn this country around, move away from the dark side, and get back to the light," says Gibney, in the first politically charged speech of the night. Incidentally, Gibney's film has been accused of 'demoralising' US troops.

Meanwhile, the Oscar for Best Documentary Short Subject was introduced by Tom Hanks and some US troops on video-link from Baghdad. The winner was announced as Freeheld, which chronicles the struggle of dying lesbian policewoman to leave her pension benefits to her partner. Cynthia Wade and Vanessa Roth collected the gong, with Wade completely losing it at the microphone. It was revealed that the late policewoman's partner, Stacie, a car mechanic, was in the audience.

8.05pm. Blood or Old Men? The tension mounts.

Finally, There Will Be Blood wins something. Robert Elswit takes the Oscar for Cinematography. Will the film be able to beat No Country for Old Men for Best Picture? We'll find out pretty soon... And now the People Who Died This Year segment is on, and it ends with Heath Ledger. Who would have ever thought? A sad moment.

Meanwhile, Dario Marianelli wins Best Original Score for Atonement.

7.45pm. Oscar for 98-year-old

The Not Dead Yet Oscar - otherwise known as the Honorary Oscar - goes to Robert Boyle, the 98-year-old production designer who worked on Hitchcock films as North by Northwest, The Birds, Shadow of a Doubt and Marnie. "This is the good part of getting old," he says. "I don't recommend the rest of it."

The Best Song is named as 'Falling Slowly' by Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova, from the movie Once. The orchestra cuts off Irglova, and the producers invite her back on stage after the break, which seems unusually accommodating of them.

As the show drags a bit, Stewart interjects with some humour.

"Whoever owns the Boeing 707 parked on La Brea Avenue, your landing lights are on," he says. John Travolta gets up from the audience (he owns a 707), and rushes for the door. As he does so, Stewart quips: "Don't worry, it's a hybrid".

7.20pm. Cotillard wins Best Actress

The French are giving the Brits a run for their money tonight. Best Actress has just gone to Marion Cotillard for La Vie En Rose. "Thank you so, so much," she said, in the first tearful-actress speech of the night. "Thank you life, thank you love. It is true that there are angels in this city." Hard not to feel disappointed for Ellen Page, who lost out for her great performance in Juno. Cotillard also kept the Oscar from going to Cate Blanchett, for Elizabeth, and of course Julie Christie, for her performance in Away From Her.

In case you're wondering, Sound Editing went to Karen Baker Landers and Per Hallberg for the Bourne Ultimatum. Sound mixing also went to the Bourne Ultimatum, which means that poor old Kevin O'Connell, who was a contender for Transformers, has now had a record 20 nominations without a win.

6.50pm. Coen brothers win screenplay Oscar

In a sign that perhaps No Country for Old Men will emerge as the big winner tonight, the Coen brothers take the Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay. "Our secret is that we're selective with our material," says Joel Coen. "We've only ever adapted Homer and Cormac McCarthy." Ethan Coen has nothing to say but "thank you". A refreshing change.

Another song now from Disney's Enchanted. What did we do to deserve this?

6.40pm. Tilda Swinton in Win #5 for Britain

The scary-looking Tilda Swinton wins the second big Oscar of the night - Best Supporting Actress - for her role as an evil fertiliser executive in Michael Clayton. "Oh no," she says, strangely, as she takes the stage. "Happy birthday, man," she goes on, looking at her Oscar, who turns 80 tonight. "I have an American agent who is the spitting image of this, really truly, the same shape head, and, it has to be said, the buttocks. And I'm giving this to him, because there's no way I would be in America, at all, if it wasn't for him. So Brian Swardstrom, I'm giving this to you."

I'm afraid to report that Swinton's dress really does look like a bin bag. Still, another win for Britain, can't complain.

6.35pm. Win #4 for Britain

Owen Wilson - looking a bit unwell - gives the Best Short Film gong to the French film-maker Philippe Pollet-Villard for Les Mozart Des Pickpockets. Pollet-Villard doesn't speak English, which is no bad thing. As Javiar Bardem just proved, the speeches sound a lot better when they're in a foreign language. At last, Stewart makes a joke about all the tedious video montages they keep playing. "This is what the entire writerless Oscars would have looked like," he says.

Best Animated Short Film, meanwhile, goes to Suzie Templeton and Hugh Welchman for Peter and the Wolf. And guess what? They're both British! This is a big night already for Britain.

6.20pm. Javier Bardem wins Best Supporting Oscar

There is justice at the Academy Awards. Javier Bardem wins Best Supporting Oscar for his absolutely terrifying performance in No Country for Old Men. When the award is announced, the Spanish actor kisses his date - his mother - and makes his way to the stage. "This is pretty amazing. Thanks to [the Coen brothers] for putting one of the most horrible haircuts in history on my head." Then he says something to his mother in Spanish, and she crys.

A perfect Oscars moment.

6.10pm. Win #3 for Britain

Best Visual Effects goes to Michael Fink, Bill Westenhofer, Ben Morris and Trevor Wood, for The Golden Compass. Ben Morris is British. I have a feeling that one of the other team members is British, but I can't be sure, and IMDB.com isn't providing the answer.

Best Art Direction goes to Dante Ferretti and Francesca Lo Schiavo for Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street.

6.05pm. Win #2 for Britain

Best Makeup goes to Didier Lavergne and Jan Archibald (a Brit) for La Vie En Rose, about the French singer Edith Piaf. "I am really 'appy and prod [sic] to be 'ere," says Didier. The orchestra cuts-off Jan in mid-thank-you.

Amy Adams now sings 'Happy Little Working Song' from the Disney movie Enchanted. It's dreadful. Stewart, at least, is on great form tonight. "If you ever wonder what we do during the breaks, we just sit around making catty remarks about the outfits you're wearing at home," he says, after the break. "It works both ways, people."

5.55pm. Ratatouille takes Best Animated Feature

The Cloonster makes an appearance. God, the man knows how to dress. He introduces a film clip celebrating 80 years of Oscars. Again, hard to avoid the feeling that this was put together when they thought they wouldn't have any writers on the show. Anne Hathaway and Steve Carell present the Oscar for Best Animated Feature Film. Brad Bird wins for Ratatouille. He thanks an unhelpful high school guidance counselor for giving him the 'perfect training for the movie business'.

5.45pm. Win #1 for Britain

The first Oscar of the night goes to a Brit. The category is costume design and the winner is Alexandra Byrne, for Elizabeth. Shame the film didn't live up to the frocks.

5.30pm. Stewart opens with Obama/Hilter joke.

Jon Stewart's opening monologue is very funny. "These past three and a half months have been very tough," he begins. "The town has been torn apart by a writer's strike. The fight is over, so tonight... welcome to the make-up sex." He goes on to mock Vanity Fair for cancelling its annual Oscars for the sake of the then still-striking writers. "Maybe next year you can invite some," he said.

Other great lines: "Before we spend the next four to five hours giving each other golden statues, let's take a moment to congratulate ourselves." And: "Away From Her is about a woman who forgets about her husband. Hilary Clinton called it 'the feelgood movie of the year'." And: "Normally when you see a black man or a woman president, an asteroid is about to hit the Statue of Liberty."

He jokes that the Democrats choosing a man called Barack Hussein Obama as their presidential nominee would be like them choosing someone called Gaydolf Titler in 1944.

Incidentally, the show opened this year with a long animated sequence. This probably has nothing at all to do with the fact that animators aren't unionised, and could therefore prepare it while the strike was still going on...

5.20pm. Page says Juno 'sincere'

Ellen Page, the 21-year-old Canadan actress up for Best Actress for her brilliant performance in Juno, is being interviewed. Asked why Juno has been such a hit, she replies: "It is unique and it's funny and mainly it's really sincere and honest, and it has a mixture of optimism and truth that we don't always see."

Less than five minutes to go before the show starts... this year's host, Jon Stewart, must be feeling the nerves.

Regis is in the auditorium now, and we get to see who gets the front-row seats: Jack Nicholson, Javier Bardem, and Johnny Depp are among them.

5.10pm. And the Oscar for Worst Hair goes to...

Now the always-charming Regis Philbin has taken over the coverage. He reveals that the red carpet is indeed longer than a football field. The French actress Marion Cotillard - from La Vie En Rose - makes a bid for the best dress of the evening. She looks like a mermaid. The award for Worst Hair, meanwhile, goes John Travolta. What did he do to it? It looks as though it was sprayed on, using a helmet as the template. Javier Bardem is arriving now. Mercifully, the insane mop-top he sported in No Country for Old Men is gone. We're big fans of Bardem here in The Times's viewing room. We hope he takes the Best Supporting Actor gong.

4.55pm. More arrivals...

Julie Christie is being interviewed on the red carpet now. She tells the man from ABC that Guantanamo Bay should be closed, and that this is a very important issue to the people of Britain. It's unclear what the man from ABC can do about this. He responds by saying that he is certain that she'll win Best Actress for Away From Her.

Michael Moore turns up. Has he lost weight? He looks slightly less blob-like than usual. "Hello international audience, please forgive us," he tells the camera, inexplicably.

4.40pm. The arrivals begin.

The red carpet outside the Kodak Theatre really is incredibly big. It's like a football pitch down there. Daniel Day Lewis and Colin Farrell have just arrived: they both look like pirates with long hair and ear-rings. Ah, and here's Tommy Lee Jones, the one man in America who looks older than John McCain. And now Tilder Swinton - co-star of Michael Clayton, and Britain's great hope for Best Supporting Actress - has been grabbed by the guy from ABC. "I'm usually doing something more useful than this," she tells him, looking slightly insane with a shock of red hair and a strangely reflective black dress. The people at ABC don't seem very impressed with this brush-off. "She wears fashion that maybe not everyone understands," interrupts the announcer, as she walks off.

4pm. Welcome to the Oscars

Good afternoon/morning, Oscars-followers. This is Chris Ayres, LA correspondent of The Times, and I am here to guide you through the evening. As I write this, helicopters are circling, the streets around Hollywood have all been blocked off, and you can't move for LAPD squad cars and police officers with bomb-sniffing dogs. Down on Hollywood Boulevard, a massive tent has been erected over the red carpet, to protect the celebrities' frocks from the very British weather. Still, we're all very excited here in The Times's viewing room. Which film will take the most gongs? Which actress will wear the worst dress? Which celebrity will make the longest speech? Stay tuned.

Comments

[Miroslaw Wilewski]

Congratulations, guys! Especially for 'Peter and the Wolf'. For you and for... us as well, as this is a Polish-English co-prodution, the whole movie was made in Poland! I am proud to be Polish and I am also proud to ive in the UK. I hope that common success will help to enhance our cooperation in other fields as well. Best regards for all Readers!!!