Wow! What a shiner!
Tony Blair was in London today to pick up an award from his old pal Lord Mandelson and arrived sporting a black eye. Or at least the remains of one...
The former prime minister's spokesman said that he had hurt himself in a "gym-related accident", but refused to elaborate on the exact circumstances.
A keep-fit fanatic and keen tennis player, Mr Blair had a gym installed at No 10 when he was in power and likes to work out on a daily basis. It's not clear whether he had a row with his rowing machine or lost a battle with his Bullworker.
Whatever!
Bad? Thriller? Earth Song? (Well, perhaps not).
Michael Jackson leaves us with a plethora of musical memories, but what was his greatest record? Don't wait for a pub quiz - debate with other fans here. We're going for Billie Jean.
If you were up with the birds to pore over MPs' expenses claims on the Commons website, you'll be well bored by now trying to work out what's hiding behind all those big black censors' blocks.
So let's play another game. We're offering a brand new bathplug to the newsblog reader who can find the most ridiculously redacted PDF in the whole list.
We can't guarantee that it will prove such good value as the 88p plug claimed by Jacqui Smith, the former Home Secretary. We might even spend over a pound. But at least it won't be your money.
(Don't paste a link: just write the MP's name, year of document and which type of claim it is. Succinct back-up comments might help your case. And don't nominate Tony Blair - that would be too easy.)
First the figures. Unemployment has hit a 12-year high of 2.26 million, the worst figure since the first months of the Blair administration. In the three months to April, the jobless total has risen by 232,000.
The same batch of figures from the Office for National Statistics show youth unemployment (18-24) reaching its worst level since 1994 after a 74,000 increase to 695,000. Long-term unemployment, counting those out of work for more than a year, increased by 54,000 in the latest quarter to 515,000. the highest for a decade.
And all 232,000 of them, all 74,00, 54,000, 515,000 or 2.26 million have a story to tell. Some will be muddling through; others suffering; many more will be worried about the prospect joining them before the economy recovers.
Many others are out of work but not counted for one reason or another: perhaps they're deemed "too old" or there's no point signing on as unemployed because they have too many savings or a partner who earns too much.
We'd like to hear your stories. If you, a friend or anyone in your family has lost their job, tell us here about what happened and the effect it has had.
Not to Royal taste
It's not often that the heir to the throne comes in for a public ticking-off, but that's exactly what the Prince of Wales has received from Lord Rogers of Riverside.
The esteemed architect is furious that Charles, in his words, "used his power to break a constitutional understanding" after his glass and steel designs to redevelop the former Chelsea Barracks were dropped.
Lord Rogers says that the Prince wrote to the chairman of Qatari Diar, the property investment arm of the Qatar state, urging him to look at classical design alternatives for the prestigious site in central London and in so doing, singlehandedly destroyed his modernist project.
So did the Prince overstep the mark? And should a committee be examined, as Lord Rogers suggests, to reexamine the Royal remit?
Have your say and vote here...
With Londoners struggling without the Tube we were wondering if Bob Crow was not perhaps the most unpopular union leader ever.
You can have your say below, but first, the candidates:
Jack Dash
The original trades union bogeyman, Dash was involved in every London dockstrike from 1945 to 1969. After his retirement, rather more endearingly, he became a London tour guide.
Derek Robinson
Remember him? Robinson was a convener at British Leyland's Longbridge plant in the 1970s, but wielded influence across the old "British car industry". He was responsible for no fewer than 523 walkouts at the company before he was finally sacked in November 1979. Fleet Street called him "Red Robbo", which he saw as a badge of honour.
Jack Jones
A Liverpool docker who became a full-time union leader after fighting in the Spanish civil war, Jones spent ten years at the head of the all-powerful Transport and General Workers Union (TGWU).
Jones was a regular at No 10 during the days of beer and sandwiches, although according to a 1977 poll 54 per cent of people considered him more powerful than the Prime Minister. Jones, who died in April, retired from the TGWU in 1978, but many still consider him to have borne some responsibility for the ensuring labour disputes which became known as "the winter of discontent".
Bob Crow
General-Secretary of the National Union of Rail, Maritime and Transport Workers, Crow is a founder member of the "awkward squad" of union leaders alongside such names as Mark Serwotka and Jeremy Dear. Not popular with England football fans.
Arthur Scargill
Instrumental in the miners's strike which helped bring down Edward Heath in 1974, Scargill took over as president of National Union of Mineworkers in 1981, leading it through the miners' strike of 1984-85. His uncompromising hard-left stance saw him vilified in the right-wing press although the antagonism was always mutual.
Fred Kite
All right Jack, this one's not real: Fred Kite was the Communist shop steward which provided Peter Sellers with his break-out role in 1959 (watch the clip above). Many people, including more than a few union leaders, took Kite as the role
It's Wednesday, and that means our favourite sitcom of the week is almost upon us. Otherwise known as Only Fools and Expense Cheats, Prime Minister's Question Time is usually as ridiculous as a prime-time BBC farce, only in this case the laughter isn't canned and it comes from unruly backbenchers.
The problem is it's supposed to be serious. This is the one opportunity of the week for the Leader of the Opposition to ask, supposedly unfettered, his most probing questions of the PM.
Last week, presented with a golden opportunity to take the lead role as Gordon Brown's cabinet came apart at the seams, David Cameron fluffed his script. So today we thought we'd give you the chance.
Six questions: that's all you've got. If you were facing Mr Brown in the Commons at midday today, after one of the most tumultuous weeks in recent parliamentary history, what would you ask of him?
Make them count...
A hairy spinster, a beanie-loving saxophonist and a
bare-chested father and son Greek dance act walk onto a stage… Oh it has such
potential as a joke but in fact it is tomorrow night’s Britain’s Got Talent final.
Such a motley crew, but wait there’s more! Joining the stifled singing sensation Susan Boyle (call
off the search parties, her threats to quit the show and hoof it back to
Blackburn never transpired), the strong but sensitive Julian Smith, and the
rotund and raucous Demetrios and Lagi Demetriou, aka Stavros Flatley, are five
other only slightly-less unlikely finalists.
Give a big round of applause to the dexterous Diversity, who
specialise in jaunty modern dance referencing their Britain’s
Got Talent journey, and the nimble Flawless, who specialise in jaunty modern
dance referencing their Britain’s
Got Talent journey. It will be too close to call. It will be impossible to
tell them apart.
Also lining up in front of ITV watchers (and lining the pockets of Simon
Cowell) will be the unimaginably wholesome 2 Grand, aka crooner John Neill and his
granddaughter Sallie Lax, and the singing 12-year-old Shaheen Jafargholi, who
specialises in big ballads and making you feel that you wasted your youth. But
let’s not forget Shaun Smith, the handsome young sop sure to capture the vote
of every teenage girl, grandmother and small, furry, big-eyed household pet.
So who will win? Tell us who you're behind in the poll below. Our prediction?
Amanda Holden will cry.
The Conservative MP claimed £1,040 for two photoshoots
In The Times today Julie Kirkbride laid out her defence against accusations that she missused her second home allowance and expenses.
She wrote: "It's not about profit, it's about keeping the family together."
This afternoon she announced that she will not stand again at the next election.
What do you think?
Herr Merkel?
A big fluffy microphone or a terrible disguise? The German Chancellor is just begging for a caption competition after this pose, and who are we to disagree?
Absolutely no prizes for the best.
 The literary world: it's a jungle out there
Ruth Padel has resigned after just nine days as the Oxford Professor of Poetry in a mire of smears, sexual allegations and and counter-slurs.
How better to mark the sordid affair than with some poetry of our own?
You dream to become
Oxford's number one
Poet.
You win - Hooray! - then you go and blow it.
Yes, it's rubbish, no, it doesn't scan and no, it doesn't really rhyme. Have a go for youself in the form below. Surely you can do better.
Please include your full name if you would like your entry to appear in The Times tomorrow.
On the back of the Chelsea Flower Show, garden designers of the future will showcasing their own 'mini' gardens during the half-term break (May 23-31) at RHS Wisley. A number of schools across all age ranges have created 1 metre by 1 metre gardens, many following the theme of growing vegetables. 'The environment' is also another major theme with gardens featuring bird feeders, recycled newspaper pots and even a bee 'cafe' and frog 'hotel'. Blue Peter presenter Chris Collins will be judging the competition. Chris was on hand at Chelsea earlier in the week - pictured (right) on the Centrepoint stand with James Sheehy (a student from the charity). Centrepoint provides opportunity to study horticulture at Capel Manor College for homeless young people
Another school very evident at Chelsea Flower show was Writhlington School. Pupils embarked in March 2009 on a trip to Sikkim in the Himalayas to take part in the Gangtok Schools' Orchid project. This has furthered the work of the botanical team at the school and resulted in a stand in the Continuous Learning area in the Grand Pavilion. Pictured here is Luke Barnes, laboratory manager and pupil at the school, examining seedlings brought back from the expedition
A proud Joseph Massie (from Fishlocks) shows his Gold Medal after being crowned Chelsea Young Florist of the Year for florists aged 16-25. He beat off stiff competition from Heidi Lawley (Lindsay Barrow Designer) and Vicky Rymell (from Hubbards), both of whom also captured gold for their innovative designs. The British Florist Association (BFA) is responsible for finding contestants for this and all other major European design competitions
It's great to see children actively involved in a garden at Chelsea Flower Show - Ranelagh School produced more than a third of the produce on the Learning to Grow small garden, including beetroots, spinach, swiss chard, carrots and potatoes. Peter Seabrook, gardening correspondent for The Sun and coordinator for the garden, said: "They've done a fantastic job. Many of the vegetables would put a seasoned gardener to shame. The potatoes are even ready to harvest now." Part of the role of the Royal Horticultural Society (RHS) is to promote and fund education for garden design and techniques, particularly among young people. So it was no surprise that Alan Titchmarsh was on hand today to congratulate the children - he launched the RHS Campaign for School Gardening Alan Titchmarsh Award last month, which enables schools to apply for £500 grants to get them started growing fruit, vegetables and flowers from September 2009
Neil Whittaker (from Design Element) has been named Chelsea Florist of the Year, beating off stiff competition from a host of mainly female competitors. He won a Gold Medal alongside Louise Roffrey and Saroch Promsiri (both from Southwark College) at the Chelsea Flower Show
With all the cookery programmes on TV, we could be forgiven for associating herbs with just taste and smell - but they also look good as the display on Jekka's Herb Farm stand shows. Jekka and Mac McVicar first started planting organic herbs in 1984 at their home in Bristol and following this year's Gold Medal has set a new record for consecutive golds by a female floral exhibitor at Chelsea Flower Show, beating Beth Chatto's previous mark of 10. They have now amassed an amazing 62 golds, 14 of which have been won at Chelsea
Sculpture has always been a part of Chelsea Flower Show so it comes as no surprise that there are 55 stands exhbiting all kinds of shapes, sizes and materials made by home-grown and international talent. Scupltors from Africa were especially evident and I could have walked away with a number of the exhibits from Zimsculpt.com, a studio based in Harare, Zimbabwe. I particularly liked this one...
If last year is anything to go by, some 65,000 cups of tea and coffee, 54,000 glasses of Pimms and 5,600 bottles of champagne will be consumed by visitors to the Chelsea Flower Show. But despite additional blocks put in by the organisers, the queues to the conveniences still remain a source of frustration...
On Monday, the Queen was quite taken by the City of Durban exhibit in the Grand Pavilion so I went to check out what all the fuss was about. It is not like anything I have seen before. There is a wonderful fusion of ideas. A modern metal arch representing the Moses Mabhida Stadium, which is one of the venues for the World Cup in 2010, hangs over contrasting cultural elements and environments. One is a coastal idyll, another ethnic Zulu art - all interwoven and bordered by rich flora from the province. After two years winning Silver-Gilt, they finally achieved a worthy Gold...
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